Hammering Out The Punchlines Again: We Had AI Write Us 10 New Warhammer 40k Jokes

A little while ago we convened a council of Tech Priests, completed some rituals of awakening and asked Chat GPT’s machine spirit to write us some Warhammer 40K jokes. Somehow it didn’t cause a rift in the warp or summon Matt Ward back from the Immaterium. So naturally, we’re repeating the experiment in the name of science.

Armed with a slightly newer language model and the same questionable sense of humour, we fed it more prompts, more heresy, and slightly less context. Here are 10 freshly-forged-in-the-laughter-forges-of-Mars 40K jokes. Blame the Omnissiah if they break your will to live.

The Omissiah’s Bounty (of Warhammer 40k Jokes):

1. Why don’t the Adeptus Custodes ever play hide and seek?
   Because good luck hiding when you’re eight feet tall, gold-plated, and glow in the dark.
2. What do you call a Tyranid with a marketing degree?
   A Genestealer with brand synergy.
3. Why did the Space Marine refuse to go to therapy?
   “My feelings have no tactical value.”
4. What’s a Cadian’s least favourite song?
   “We Didn’t Start the Fire.”
5. Why did the Tech-Priest break up with his toaster?
   It just wasn’t mechanically compatible.
6. How many Orks does it take to change a lightbulb?
   One to change it and nine to argue that it’s brighter now because they believe it is.
7. What did the Necron Overlord say at his comedy show?
   “I’ll be here all eternity.”
8. Why do Drukhari never get invited to parties?
   Because they always bring hooks to the snack table.
9. Why was the Inquisitor banned from the book club?
   He kept shouting “HERESY!” at the romance novels.
10. What’s the most dangerous part of a Chaos Space Marine?
    His backstory.

So there you have it — more digital groan-fuel, fresh from the AI’s logic engines. If you laughed, chuckled, or just rolled your eyes so hard you saw the Astronomican, consider sharing it with a hobby mate. And if you want to see a third instalment, let us know… or don’t. It’s not like the AI cares.

(It does. It’s watching. Always.)

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